Last week, we looked at that tug of war in the writing world revolving around the usage of 'said'. Should it be avoided at all costs? Or should it be the only dialogue tag you use? With a few demonstrated examples we came to conclusion that the answer is somewhere in between.
Where that happy medium is exactly is hard to pinpoint. In all honesty it most likely depends on your genre and your prescribed writing style. But it must be said that that it is better to err on the side of 'said' as opposed to using fanciful dialogue tags. Because the unique thing about said is that, ironically, it doesn't say anything. It's such an inconspicuous word that readers glance right over it. In a way it acts more like a punctuation mark than a word, servicing as nothing more than a marker to indicate that dialogue is happening here. Use that to your advantage! Rejoice in the fact that there is this nigh-invisible word that you can use to tag your dialogue with minimum faff. But wait, you might say: didn't we conclude last time that using only said is a bad thing, because it is dry and emotionless? We did, however the common mistake made here is the belief that single-word dialogue tags are the only means of description you have at your disposal. Let's look again at that dialogue exchange that used only said. Let's look at the first few sentences: "Jill, what are you doing?" said Jack. Jill twisted around, tears rolling into the bucket in her hands. "Stay back," she said, "Don't come any closer." "Don't be stupid Jill," said Jack, stepping closer, "Put the bucket down. It's not worth it." Now, which part here is the most effective, would you say? For me, it's the sentence which describes Jill's tears rolling into the bucket. Whereas the other sections have little for the reader to go on in terms of the tone and feel of the exchange, this little bit of flavor text provides a vivid image of what is happening, not just the words being exchanged. And all in spite of the fact that 'said' was used here. This is much better than using a fanciful dialogue tag like, say, 'admonished' or 'declared' which makes the dialogue feel awkward, as though the speaker is putting on a certain voice while remaining physically still. In that sentence of the tears dripping into the bucket, however, the action carries the weight of the image painted in the reader's mind, which itself informs the way in which the speaker speaks. One who is crying is going to speak like someone who is, well, crying, if you follow me. You shouldn't overdo it, however. Not every passage of dialogue needs to be punctuated by an action, in the same way that not every action should be peppered with dialogue. It's a balancing act between allowing the dialogue to flow naturally and fortifying the text with enough imagery to bring it to life. The best approach is to simply imagine that dialogue playing out for real in your head, and looking out for when those gestures and movements happen: when does this speaker rub their chin? When does that speaker scoff and turn away in disgust? So let's try that original Jack and Jill dialogue again, this time with these new rules in mind: "Jill, what are you doing?" said Jack, chest heaving from his dash up the hillside. Jill twisted around, tears rolling into the bucket in her hands. "Stay back," she said, "Don't come any closer." "Don't be stupid Jill," said Jack, stepping closer, "Put the bucket down. It's not worth it." "You don't understand," said Jill, letting the wind whip her hair up and conceal her face. "But I do," said Jack, running a hand through his hair and glancing around, "Remember how we always used to fetch a pail of water together as kids?" The tiniest twitch of a smile played across Jill's lips. "How can I forget?" she Jill. "And that one time I fell down?" said Jack. "You broke your crown," said Jill, giving a single choking laugh. "Yeah, and you came tumbling after," said Jack. "Those were good times," said Jill, "Simple times. How do we get them back, Jack?" "Not this way," said Jack, brushing the hair out of Jill's eyes with a single finger, "Come on. Put the bucket down." Jill dropped the bucket, water sloshing into the grass. Jack gathered her into a tight embrace. What do you think? It's by no means perfect - by my own admission it's a little melodramatic - but it's light years ahead of the previous two incarnations. So there you have it. The greatest criticism of the word said - that it is a word devoid of meaning - is in fact it's greatest strength. When paired with just the right amount of descriptive passage, you will come much closer to the perfect blend of vivid yet flowing dialogue. I said.
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Off the ShelfHere I share my ideas, musings and advice on the writing process. I also analyse some of my own writing for examples to show how I work. ShowcaseHere I will show off of some of my favorite good and great stories, gushing lovingly over why I adore them and why you should too. I will also show you the other side of the spectrum: bad examples of stories and what we can learn from them.
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